On a dusty street in old Bakersfield at sunset, a round-bellied alcoholic stumbles out of a bar. On the street, he is greeted by a sober alcoholic who just left his 12-step meeting. Eyeing his fellow inebriated alcoholic, the twelve-stepper confronts him: “You need to admit that you’re helpless over your alcoholism. Take it one day at a time. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
The fumbling alcoholic pulls a revolver from his waist, points it somewhere in the vicinity of the good Samaritan’s face, and says, “It may be the first day of the rest of my life, but buddy, it’s the last day of the rest of yours.”
If I were an alcoholic, believing that today is the first day of the rest of my life, as AA and the bumper stickers would have you, might not give me the encouragement I needed to stop drinking. I would most likely think, hell, I have my whole life ahead of me, why stop drinking now?
When I wake up I prefer to think that today is the last day of the rest day of my life, because as I get older the probability of that being true increases. If I were an alcoholic, that belief wouldn’t stop me from drinking either, because if it truly was my last day and being drunk was a preferred state, I might choose to spend it that way. I certainly wouldn’t want to spend it checking into rehab. But fortunately, I do not seem to have inherited the alcoholism set of genes (nor had my parents or grandparents), so in reality I would prefer to spend my last day sober and as conscious as possible.
Waking up believing that today might be the last day of my life has some beneficial effects. First of all, if it ends up not being true, I end each day thinking that somehow I cheated Death. If I am going to cheat anyone and get away with it the one I would most want to cheat is Death. There’s a sweet thrill in that. Second, and most obvious, thinking that each day might be my last allows me to make certain choices: I will choose to do those things that I would most regret not having done before my porch swing years (ok, maybe I am already there). And last, it imbues each day with a precious quality.
Ultimately, I cannot argue with the 12-step phrase that today is the first day of the rest of your life. It is actually one of those cute little mathematical tricks. Even if it were the last day of your life, it would still be the first day of the rest of your life. It just may not end up being a very long day. It is, of course, all a matter of attitude. If any day were the last day of my life, and it was lived well, it is going to be a nice day to die.